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   distastefortruth:

   not-xdanimalx:

   secretsbest:

    

   The Defibrillator Toaster

   My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

   “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

   this is the best oh my god

   He’s bread, Jim.

   (via gabrielesque-deactivated2012012)

   Source: secretsbest

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